Working to INform, Guide & Support
      Those who have been sexually abused within the Truth Fellowship

W.I.N.G.S.

FOR TRUTH

"But the child's sob in the silence curses deeper Than the strong man in his wrath."
Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Child Abuse doesn't hurt a little; it hurts for generations

Protecting children – who cannot speak for themselves – should not and cannot be discretionary and it is not only our moral duty, it is now the law. We all must be alert to those circumstances that, unless properly managed, pose a threat to the welfare of our children.

“…NOW it is high time to awake out of sleep”
Romans 13:11

 

The Effects of Child Abuse Depend on a Variety of Factors

 

We have learned from many people's experiences and a great deal of research that the effects of abuse and neglect depend on a variety of factors. Below I group these effects into those which research has shown to influence negative outcomes, and a variety of other factors that are harder to measure for research purposes and/or may be very important for some people but not others.

Factors research has shown to influence the effects of abuse:

  • Age of the child when the abuse happened. Younger is usually more harmful, but different effects are associated with different developmental periods.

  • Who committed the abuse. Effects are generally worse when it was a parent, step-parent or trusted adult than a stranger.
  • Whether the child told anyone, and if so, the person's response.  Doubting, ignoring, blaming and shaming responses can be extremely harmful - in some cases even more than the abuse itself.
  • Whether or not violence was involved, and if so, how severe.

  • How long the abuse went on.

 

Psychological Effects

 

  • Fear. The offender may swear the child to secrecy and say that if they tell something bad will happen. Sexual abuse is usually accompanied by coercion, bribery or threats. The child is afraid to tell because of what the consequences might be. e.g. punishment, blame, abandonment or not being believed.
  • Helplessness/powerlessness. Children in this situation often feel that they have no control over their own lives or even over their own bodies. They feel that they have no choices available to them.
  • Guilt and Shame. The child knows something is wrong and blames him or herself not others. The offender will often encourage the child to feel that the abuse is his or her fault and sometimes s/he will feel that s/he is a "bad" person.
  • Responsibility. The offender often makes the child feel responsible for keeping the abuse a secret. Sometimes the child also feels responsible for keeping the family together and the burden of this responsibility interferes with experiencing a normal childhood.
  • Isolation. Incest victims feel different from other children. They must usually be secretive. This even isolates them from non-offending parents and brothers and sisters.
  • Betrayal. Children feel betrayed because they are dependent upon adults for nurturing and protection and the offender is someone who they should be able to love and trust. They may also feel betrayed by a non-offending parent who they feel has failed to protect them.
  • Anger. Not surprisingly this is one of the strongest feelings which many children have about their sexual assault. Children may feel anger against the perpetrator and also against others who they feel failed to protect them.
  • Sadness. Children may feel grief due to a sense of loss, especially if the perpetrator was loved and trusted by the child.
  • Flashbacks. These can be like nightmares which happen while the child is awake. They are a re-experience of the sexual assault and the child may experience all the feelings again which they felt at the time.
  •  

    Long Term Effects may include:

     

  • Depression, anxiety, trouble sleeping.
  • Low self esteem.
  • "Damaged goods" syndrome. i.e. negative body image due to self-blame. This may be intensified if physical pain was experienced during the abusive incidents.
  • Dissociation from feeling.
  • Social isolation.
  • Relationship problems such as an inability to trust, poor social skills or a reluctance to disclose details about themselves.
  • Self destructive behaviour such as substance abuse or suicide attempts.
  • Sexual difficulties such as fear of sex or intimacy, indiscriminate multiple sex partners or difficulty in reaching orgasm.
  • Parenting problems such as fear of being a bad parent, or fear of abusing the child or being overprotective.
  • An underlying sense of guilt, anger or loss.
  • "Flashbacks" and/or panic attacks.

     

    The Child Sexual Abuse Accommodation Syndrome

    The Child Sexual Abuse Accommodation Syndrome was developed by Roland Summit, M.D. It is a simple and logical model which can be used to help in understanding and accepting the ways in which many children react to sexual abuse. The syndrome classifies the most typical reactions of child sexual abuse victims, dividing them into five categories.

     

    It is worth noting that children are often put through a "grooming process" before the sexual abuse commences. They are initially chosen for being compliant and therefore unlikely to complain or tell anyone. The offender may then go to considerable lengths to build up the child's trust, for example the child may be given presents or told that they are "special".

     

    The five categories of the syndrome are:

     

    1. Secrecy

    Abused children tend to keep the abuse a secret. They do so for a variety of reasons. They may be afraid of the abuser who may have threatened the child or someone whom the child loves. Physically abused children may be afraid of being beaten again. The abuser may have promised safety to the child or child's loved ones if the child keeps quiet. Neglected or emotionally abused children long for their parents' approval and affection - they may keep silent for fear of losing the parents' love.

     

    2. Helplessness

    Children are inherently helpless and subordinate. They are small, dependent, and emotionally immature. For all of these reasons, they cannot escape from a dangerous situation. Children who try to protect themselves are usually overridden by more powerful adults. When their attempts to protect themselves fail, these children come to believe that they are helpless. Eventually they stop trying to protect themselves overtly. Instead they may withdraw, go physically limp or dissociate.*

     

    * "Dissociation" is a way in which some children survive abuse by escaping mentally while the abuse is happening. The body and the mind seem to separate. While the body is being hurt, the child no longer feels it because the mind manages to escape to a safe place. Different children may dissociate in different ways. One example is "leaving" the body and floating on the ceiling over the bed where the abuse is occurring. The child may even watch what is happening but it is as if it were happening to someone else. The child feels nothing.

     

    3. Entrapment And Accommodation

    Children who keep their abuse a secret and continue to feel helpless inevitably feel trapped. However, they learn to accept the situation and survive. The helpless child faced with continuing victimisation must learn to somehow achieve a sense of power and control. The child may eventually come to blame him or herself, believing s/he has provoked the abuse. Physically abused children may refer to their bad behaviours as reasons why their parents must punish them. Emotionally abused or neglected children may imagine unacceptable traits in themselves. Physically, sexually and emotionally abused children may also employ defensive mechanisms (e.g. dissociation or blocking out the memory) in an attempt to accommodate to the abuse.

     

    4. Delayed, Conflicted And Unconvincing Disclosure

    Adults who ask a child to disclose abuse must recognise that this request may precipitate an acute crisis for the child. Initial disclosures may be fraught with anxiety, retractions and inconsistencies. Therefore it may sound unconvincing. Because the child has used various defensive mechanisms to cope with the abuse, memory may be fragmentary, perceptions may be altered and information may be scattered and sparse.

     

    5. Retraction

    Children who do disclose abuse may be flooded with guilt, fear and feelings of betrayal or confusion. The adults' immediate responses may frighten them further. For example, the child may be removed into foster care, the parent may be put in prison and members of the child's family may suffer. All this may make the child retract the disclosure. Children gravitate towards the safety of a familiar situation, no matter how painful it is. Most abused or neglected children remain loyal to their families and, if given a choice, frequently want to stay with their abusive parents.

     

    It should be noted that this is a "model" describing reactions, not an absolute.

     

    Like all models it does not mean each child will show all aspects of this syndrome. There have been some problems reported in the U.S. with courts taking the model so literally that if children don't demonstrate all the features they are under suspicion of lying.

     

     

    SOME OF THE REASONS WHY CSA IS NOT DISCLOSED:

     

    Unfortunately many victims of CSA are told “false reasons” in why they cannot or should not report their abuse to the authorities.  Here is a list of a few of those dangerous false reasons:

     

     

    • Bad little girls deserve to be abused.
    • Sex is bad so anything sexual that is done to you cannot be talked about.
    • The Bible says not to take your brother to law.
    • You have to obey the workers and elders no matter what.
    • The workers are on the same level as Jesus and so know God more intimately as their Father so it is better to let a worker handle it rather than tell the authorities that don't know God.
    • You will never be abused unless you want to be.
    • You can fight, protest, struggle, and say "no" all you want, but a guy knows if you really mean it or not.
    • You may not have wanted the abuse to happen, but it's your fault if you put yourself in the situation.
    • Jesus wants you to suffer abuse and look the other way, turn the other cheek.
    • We have to forgive sin and keep a right spirit toward our brother, which means looking the other way and letting God handle it.
    • We have to take the blame for things done to us just like Jesus took the blame for sinners, and "we do well if we bear it patiently". (*Name withheld for privacy*, Iowa worker)
    • After all, sexual abuse only hurts our shell, the human part of us, not our spirit.

     

     

    Reporting needs to happen for several reasons:

     

     1) The long term effects of not reporting and, thus, not receiving help may be devastating to all involved.

    2) Other children both in and out of the home may be at risk.

    3) Reporting makes treatment available to the offender, the spouse and the child. 

    4) Reporting also puts authority behind the aggressor’s need for counseling. Remember, most aggressors vowed for years to stop . . . and didn’t.

     

    For more details please refer to:

    http://www.wingsfortruth.info/respondingtocsa.htm#P395086140LSD52

    A compilation of research from the National Incident-Based Reporting System (NIBRS) and other research articles indicate that:

     

    • 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
    • 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.
    • Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under.
    • An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today.
    • 30-40% of victims are abused by a family member.
    • Another 50% are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust.

    (Of the 50% of offenders outside the family, approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know and 10% by adults they know. )

    • Therefore, only 10% are abused by strangers.

     

    Sexual abuse can occur at all ages:

    • The median age for reported abuse is 9 years old.
    • More than 20% of children are sexually abused before the age of 8.
    • Nearly 50% of all victims of forcible sodomy, sexual assault with an object, and forcible fondling are children under 12.

     

    Keep in mind that evidence that a child has been sexually abused is not always obvious, and many children do not report that they have been abused.

     

    • Over 30% of victims never disclose the experience to ANYONE.
    • Young victims may not recognize their victimization as sexual abuse.
    • Almost 80% initially deny abuse or are tentative in disclosing. Of those who do disclose, approximately 75% disclose accidentally. Additionally, of those who do disclose, more than 20% eventually recant even though the abuse occurred.
    • Fabricated sexual abuse reports constitute only 1% to 4% of all reported cases. Of these reports, 75% are falsely reported by adults and 25% are reported by children. Children only fabricate ½% of the time.

     

     

    Offenders:

     

    • The typical child sex offender molests an average of 117 children, most of who do not report the offence. (National Institute of Mental Health)
    • About 95% of victims know their perpetrators.
    • It is estimated that approximately 71% of child sex offenders are under 35 and knew the victim at least casually.
    • About 80% of these individuals fall within normal intelligence ranges
    • 59% gain sexual access to their victims through, seduction or enticement.
    • Offenders with pedophilia molest about 88% of child abuse victims.

     

     

    Recidivism rates

     

    • A five-year follow-up study found that same-sex child molesters had the highest rate of previous sex offenses (53 percent), as well as the highest reconviction rate for sex crimes (30 percent).
    • In comparison, 43 percent of opposite-sex child molesters had prior sex offenses and a reconviction rate for sex crimes of 25 percent, and incest offenders had prior convictions at a rate of 11 percent and a reconviction rate of 6 percent.
    • Interestingly, the recidivism rate for same-sex child molesters for other crimes against persons was also quite high, with 26 percent having reconvictions for these offenses.
    • Similarly, a number of other studies have found that child molesters have relatively high rates of nonsexual offenses.

        (CSOM-Center for Sex Offender Management-US Dept of Justice)

     

     

    According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Service, child sexual abuse (CSA) is defined as:

     

        "(A) the employment, use, persuasion, inducement, enticement, or coercion of any child to engage in, or assist any other person to engage in, any sexually explicit conduct or simulation of such conduct for the purpose of producing a visual depiction of such conduct; or

        (B) the rape, molestation, prostitution, or other form of sexual exploitation of children, or incest with children;..."

     

    More specifically, child sexual abuse may include fondling a child's genitals, masturbation, oral-genital contact, digital penetration, and vaginal and anal intercourse. Child sexual abuse is not solely restricted to physical contact; such abuse could include non-contact abuse, such as exposure, voyeurism, and child pornography.

    Sexual acts may include the following:

    • Touching of a child's genital by an adult;
    • An adult telling the child to touch the adult's or another's genitals;
    • Exposure of the genitals, including photographing the child's genitals or the child in a sexual position;
    • An adult masturbating in front of a child;
    • Rubbing (masturbating) against a child;
    • Oral sex performed on a child or telling a child to perform oral sex;
    • Any type of penetration of a child's vagina or anus, however slight, by a penis, finger, tongue or other object;
    • Exposing a child to pornography or using a child in pornography;
    • Talking, commenting and or teasing a child in sexual ways.

     

    For more detailed description of "sexual acts" click here

    DEFINITION OF CSA (Child Sexual Abuse)

    Signs and Symptoms of child sexual abuse in a child may include:

     

    • Physical signs of sexual abuse in children are not common, although redness, rashes or swelling in the genital area, urinary tract infections or other such symptoms should be carefully investigated. Also, physical problems associated with anxiety, such as chronic stomach pain or headaches, may occur.
    • Has difficulty walking or sitting.
    • Becomes pregnant or contracts a venereal disease, particularly if under age 14.
    • "Too perfect” behavior; withdrawal and depression; unexplained anger and rebellion
    • Runs away.
    • Reports sexual abuse by a parent or another adult.
    • Sexual behavior and language that are not age-appropriate.
    • Be aware that in some children there are no signs whatsoever.

     

    If you find physical signs that you suspect as sexual abuse, have the child physically examined immediately by a professional who specializes in child sexual abuse.

    SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS

    CSA STATISTICS

    EFFECTS OF CSA